The Art of Deceiving Yourself
And how you’re the only one holding you back
I have to start by explaining that my productivity and self-awareness was never impressive to begin with. Let me know if this is something you can relate to. I spent most days procrastinating to an embarrassing degree and not even trying to do anything about it. Then I would go on to attempt the most urgent tasks I had pending, which were usually in the frighteningly urgent and last-minute category. After doing enough work to feel like I’d worked up a proverbial sweat I would then go on to reward myself with a disproportionately large break. I would proceed by trying to cram in as much cheap entertainment as my many screens afforded me. Making little progress would eventually lead to me feeling overwhelmed by work that could’ve easily been accomplished with the slightest degree of self-discipline.
My issue didn’t lie in shortcomings regarding the work that was presented to me. I wouldn’t even qualify my issue to be laziness. I firmly believed I was working at my full capacity. That an extra hour of studying, or one less on my phone, was far more than poor brain could handle. The problem was I was too skilled at lying to myself. I was failing to acknowledge my addiction to the comfortable feeling of procrastination and my poor endurance when it came to exerting myself with work. We’ve all heard the saying “You’re your own worst enemy”, yet I’d never realised how bafflingly true it really is. I came to realise that being brutally honest with yourself is a necessity in order to successfully achieve anything.
Lying to yourself can take many forms. In the case I mentioned, simply not being demanding enough of yourself can be a way of lying to yourself. Our brains have created this sensational system to trick us out of doing things we don’t really want to. Human beings, essentially, crave being in a state of homeostasis. Homeostasis is simply an organisms effort to maintain a stable state, a state of balance which is considered to be safe if not optimal. Anything that requires great effort or suffering of any form can be considered a step away from this homeostasis. In comes our brain, helping us fabricate these delicious lies that are so convenient, we are ripe to believe them.
One of the best examples I have of this is in running. I began running a while back after failing to pick it up several times over my life. The reason why I could never get into it is that I felt I couldn’t run very far and I honestly didn’t enjoy it much. My mistake was whenever the run got hard or my breathing got a little too heavy I would immediately stop. My brain would rush in to comfort me, assuring me I could’ve done serious damage if I hadn’t stopped just then. Surprisingly, I don’t think anything horrifying would’ve happened if I’d continued another kilometre in my seemingly arduous 15-minute run. Pushing past this barrier of deceit is what later helped me to actually improve my running endurance and enjoy the sport for what it is. These days I’ve started trail running, the previously weak-minded version of myself would be baffled by the state of my feet and the grin on my face. If I had let these false feelings that I had exerted myself enough or to simply quit every time something hurt, I would’ve never experienced the beauty and intensity of long-distance trail running. This doesn’t mean you should completely shut off pain and power through, but be able to tell when you are going easy on yourself or you truly need rest. Past this initial barrier of discomfort, you will find, often lies a worthy reward for overcoming it.
Photo by Brian Metzler on Unsplash
What I’m trying to get at is that being honest with yourself can be the liberating factor in your life if done correctly. Unfortunately, this isn’t a process I can guide you through. It is a journey of self-awareness, only we can really know to what extent we lie to ourselves. Whether it is regarding your lazy work habit or the career you dread that you are far too comfortable to quit, be honest with yourself. Being honest about your shortcomings as well as your strengths will lead you to a more efficient work life. Being honest about how you feel and your true passions will lead you to pursue a more fulfilling life. The day you start practicing this, you will realise the abismal quantity of small lies we tell ourselves and how these hold us back. I had to realise the important of being truthful through practice and self-reflection. Methods such as journaling or meditation were tools that helped me clear my thoughts and dissect my feelings. Ultimately, only you will be able to decide what will work for you and what particular lies you’ve been telling yourself.
